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Buzzed & Balanced
Buzzed & Balanced
Sisters Unscripted: Emily Takes the Mic
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In this riotous episode of "Buzzed and Balanced," Meg, Connor, and Colt welcome Meg’s sister, Emily, a badass dermatology PA with a penchant for slicing skin and injecting Botox. Emily spills the beans on growing up evangelical, hiding her sapphic desires, and awkwardly coming out to her clueless parents. Expect tales of electric hand-holding in third grade, cringey youth group confessions, and hilarious misadventures in the dating pool of Roanoke. The crew doesn’t hold back on raunchy humor, discussing everything from Connor's Botox obsession to Colt’s scandalous birthday bash featuring jello shots and random makeouts. With a mix of heartfelt moments and unapologetic hilarity, this episode is a wild ride through the messy, fabulous chaos of queer life. Tune in and laugh your ass off!
Sibling Banter and Coming Out Stories
Speaker 1and everything can be like recorded, like it's or like edited, so everything so like oh, I'm not editing anymore everything it's raw, raw and uncut anyways, uh hi, I'm colt.
Speaker 2Welcome to uh no, that's not how I do it. Hold on, welcome to buzzed and balanced, your favorite podcast, where us, your make-believe friends, talk to you about our fucked up lives.
Speaker 3I'm colt and I'm connor and I'm meg, and with us today is a very special guest it is my older sister I'm emily.
Speaker 4I'm meg's older sister.
Speaker 3So fun, so fun it's so emily in your outline that I gave you earlier.
Speaker 4I said, let me pull my notes out Okay.
Speaker 3So Emily, my dearly beloved sister, tell us a little bit about yourself. What do you do for work? How do you? Well, obviously I've known you, since you tormented me as a child. But you know, how do you know? The other two fuckers in the room tormented me?
Speaker 4as a child. But you know how? Do you know the other two fuckers in the room? So for work, I'm a PA, I'm a physician assistant, which pretty much just means that I got my master's degree studying medicine and then I got my medical license and I'm allowed to practice medicine and do procedures, prescribed medicines, all of that. I work in dermatology, which is super fun. So I'm just in a private clinic and I get to kind of do my own shit. So I work in a like satellite clinic out in a smaller town in Kernersville. So I run that clinic three days a week and then I work in our bigger clinic in Winston one and a half days a week just seeing patients. I do surgeries and Botox and all kinds of stuff. So obviously I know Megan, yeah, yeah, yeah, we can talk later baby.
Speaker 1Yeah, we need to talk about parties, if I sound. I'm trying to get into seeing a dermatologist for a long time Cause like I am out in the sun and I like definitely have tan and I was a lifeguard for five years and we have family history of melanoma, but I still want it to be tan.
Speaker 4You need to come in and see me. I need to come see you and we can do a two for one because I need to get this like together we can get it together.
Speaker 2It's getting we have been talking about it.
Speaker 4Yeah, yeah, collectively the gays have.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's yeah, we didn't want to tell you, but you know it's been an issue. We're gonna kick you out, but you can probably save his position in the gays yeah, yeah, I just come see me, I am the top dog of the gays.
Speaker 1Thank you okay, regina, george, I am, I'm I was told today I was the kevin bacon of the gays that is true oh, is that right and I have no idea.
Speaker 2Everybody has like five connections to you seven degrees of kevin bacon.
Speaker 1It's like everybody knows, somebody who knows somebody yeah, it used to be like me, but I don't really care. People away from everybody.
Speaker 3Oh, the seven degrees of separation thing, that, yeah, there was a kevin bacon thing and it used to be a show. I don't know why they called that, but oh, they say seven degrees of kevin bacon well, my friends always used to make fun of me because after me and my like first ex broke up, I'd never found someone that didn't know my ex-boyfriend, and so they'd be like you need to have seven degrees of separation from everybody it's like impossible, like yeah it is fucking impossible especially here, especially in one, especially here, thankfully with, like my exes no one.
Speaker 1I've always like dated people who are like more like, like, not into the scene, I guess into the community, which is also kind of a problem, but whatever, um, so I've never had that issue, thankfully. Oh my gosh, I yeah winston is tiny like today.
Speaker 3I was. Our parents are under contract on the house. I was scheduling their closing and so I was emailing with the paralegal but we always use them right. So I know this woman very well, so I email her and I'm like these are my parents and she goes where'd your dad go? To high school? And so I tell, I tell her, and she was like was, was he a bus driver? And I was like, yeah, yeah, he was. And she was like, oh my God, I had a crush on him in high school.
Speaker 1Wait, your dad was a bus driver in high school. Yeah, so was my dad.
Speaker 3Oh my God, shut up. Wait, where did you? Did he go? To Reynolds?
Speaker 4No, he didn't go to Reynolds driving tractors at like age of nine on the farm and then he started driving the bus and, like his, like little brother and sister to school yeah
Speaker 1I didn't know that, went to high point, drove buses like that's crazy. A lot similar things, yeah, yeah we we talked about the whole high point.
Speaker 3Like we all have connections, like my parents met at high point, oh yeah, and stuff.
Speaker 4I went there for a year. Right, you went there for a year. I went to.
Speaker 1Wesleyan, which was right next door in high school in middle, yeah you went to Wesleyan. Wesleyan.
Speaker 3I did not know that getting fucked in the what is the church? The chapel yeah, I do, oh, I do remember you talking about that.
Speaker 1okay, my dad will probably listen to this, so we can. Actually, I already told my dad about it. You didn't fuck, you just got a blowjob. Yeah, I just got it. Yeah, it was my first time, and that praise the Lord. First time.
Speaker 3Praise the Lord, praise be Amen, miracles happen I mean the Lord was smiling down on you.
Speaker 1when that was happening, she was up there saying you go girl.
Speaker 3Yeah, yes, she was.
Speaker 2She was Homecoming. I got my first blowjob in a in like we'll bleep it out. There's like a field behind it and there's trees.
Speaker 4And I met up. Was it a guy or girl? Were you in middle school?
Speaker 3Were you in middle school. I was in high school Damn.
Speaker 1How'd you meet this one?
Speaker 2Like from where? Just like Facebook, like he randomly like went to another school.
Speaker 1He definitely is real.
Speaker 2Well, I was like oh, I'm straight, but you know, I was still doing all that shit.
Speaker 1Girl. Yeah, but I'm like curious or whatever, yeah.
Speaker 3And so was he, and he sucked my dick and it was great.
Speaker 2I didn't suck it. Well, I think I tried.
Speaker 4It was he had a huge dick he sucked mine, but I did not suck it, didn't sound selfish, but anyway that's every one in their early 20s yeah, that's true
Speaker 1going to random marriott hotel rooms pulling your pants down, getting your dick sucked and leaving no, no I thought that was like a universal connor was the one going to suck dick. Oh, see, we were on opposite sides of it because I was like, yes, I'm straight or even when I was gay, I was still like oh same, even though, like my purse, fell out of my mouth every time I opened it I didn't come out before you. That's crazy when'd you come out?
Speaker 2I was 21 yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1well then, but you're younger than me. I came out at 23, so I guess you technically came out a little bit before me, but I didn't come out to my dad until I was like 29. Like two years ago, three years ago, I don't fucking know. That's not why we're here.
Speaker 3Dude, that's so crazy. So after our first episode and I posted you guys on Instagram Tommy DM'd me. Tommy McGuinn yeah because he was like talk about me and I was like no and he was like that's so crazy that, you know, connor, we, you know, went to campaigns together.
Speaker 1I love you, tommy. He's such a cutie. I always had a little crush on him he told me.
Speaker 3He said Connor always said he wasn't gay. As it goes, I did.
Speaker 1As it goes, I'm not gay even though I'll never forget I was like Tommy was.
Speaker 4Yeah, I was yeah, he's so funny, I always thought Tommy was a little cutie.
Speaker 4I remember when I was in middle school, I was on the bus and there was another girl at my school named Emily Todd, and this is when I was like you know I think that you know, everybody has these thoughts, but you're just supposed to keep them to yourself, right? And so this Emily Todd girl had made out with another girl and everyone's like it was you. I'm like, no, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. What are you talking about? I'm like, oh, my God, I wonder who she was making out with. I'm like, oh, like a girl.
Speaker 3She's a neat girl. Oh my God, yeah, it's like I'm definitely not.
Speaker 4And here we are, here we are.
Speaker 3Oh my gosh question for you, which is a little bit of um. You know we grew up super evangelical Christian, right? So what? What do you think like your feelings were about being gay when you were little? Was it just kind of the thing of like everybody feels this way, or did you ever feel like kind of like shame with it? Like, what was your experience?
Speaker 4So you know, this is something that I think now, just being like an older adult, definitely like delving into a little bit more. But I remember like being in elementary school and like having feelings for girls, like I remember the first girl that it was third grade, her name was Ellie, I will not fully out her, but I remember like running down the hallway with Ellie and then she like went to grab my hand and I felt like electricity through my whole body. I'm like oh my gosh, I love this.
Speaker 4I named my first Build-A-Bear after her and I still have that Build-A-Bear to this day. Yeah, but yeah. So when it comes to like the religious aspect of it, I think I mean our parents didn't really grow up super bigoted even though we were like Christian and I mean our parents didn't really grow up super bigoted even though we were like Christian and evangelical and all of that. They didn't tell us to like, hate people and like what we see nowadays, but it was like frowned upon. You know, it was a. You don't do this, it's not normal. So I thought, okay, well, everybody probably has these thoughts, right, Like everyone's probably thinking like same sex. They're hot, I can have like a little wet dream about them and that's normal and everything's cool, and I'm repulsed by the opposite sex and you're just supposed to deal with it, you know.
Speaker 3So that's the loudest train I've ever heard in my life and the wind is how I can feel the wind.
Speaker 4Dead.
Speaker 1like pause, I dead ass hate the train here when I was living in Roanoke when I was dead ass hate the train here when I was living in roanoke, when I was, you know it? Yeah, because I used to live down the street, yeah, and we used to live on the train track like, yeah, we could see I was on one side, he was on the other.
Speaker 4Yeah, because I lived where. What's that guy's name? Matt off a chestnut.
Speaker 1Oh, david with the hoa, yeah, david says hi, by the way, I told him you were coming on. Oh, I'll tell him, yes, I will.
Speaker 4But yeah, that was the worst, and when I lived in Roanoke they would have to be silent the entire time they went through the city. It was an ordinance and it was so nice.
Speaker 1Yeah, here they just like I would be fine Hit motherfuckers but like let me sleep. Do we have a window? Do you have a window?
Speaker 2Oh, I have the window Open a little bit back there. Should I close it all the way? I good like it was hot in here.
Speaker 1I was like is this okay, let me collapse in, that would be, we could pay out. Oh girl, I'd be, so I would be retiring tomorrow yeah, oh my god, oh, to get but I still get my severance when I get fired, so double money do you know how much severance you're gonna get?
Speaker 3is it like normally? I would get 30 or 90 days or something.
Speaker 1Yeah, it depends. It's supposed to be a week for every year. You've been there, I've been there 10 minutes A week.
Speaker 2Yeah, I thought it was a month.
Speaker 1I wish. No, they probably give me three months, four months, but it just depends. Yeah, also, I don't know, I'm probably not getting let go. Let's get real.
Speaker 4I have meetings all next week that I guess they're not offering, they're all like freaking out.
Speaker 1They're like kind of like you're gonna be here, right, like you gotta move out, and I was like yes, like my schedule's ready, I'm good, y'all are in new new york, because I'm not doing the new york trip. I'm letting them do that and then I'm gonna be here so I can have my own life.
Speaker 3Oh, my gosh anyway.
Speaker 4Anyways, here we are but yes, so you know, we grew up like going to youth group and we grew up going to like kids rock and all of this other stuff and it was such a like integral part of our lives and I felt like you were just supposed to lean into it. And then just also going to high school in the south, like all your friends are christians and everybody wanted to be like a part of like that community. So you just kind of leaned into it and you you did the status quo.
Speaker 3So but then, like in high school, you, because we were we differed very much, whereas like I leaned way more into the whole youth group thing and you went, I went soft on you were the um the disappointment.
Speaker 4I was the. I used to not be the favorite. And that may have changed now. Who?
Speaker 3knows For four years I was the good kid she was. She didn't drink.
Speaker 4You may have done other things that were disappointing, that they didn't know about. But yeah, I had this dichotomy of I would go to youth group and like love that and go on my mission trips and like serve the Lord, and then also like I would be going out every weekend and getting fucked up in a field and drinking a fifth of Smirnoff by myself. So oh, yeah, it was for you. I can't anything watermelon flavored. I cannot have any more. When you took that I said, praise be, oh my God.
Speaker 3It was a big no. Oh God, I remember yeah, but yeah no.
Speaker 4I would party in high school but then at the same time like clean myself up and go to youth group on Sundays. I remember getting to the Jamaica airport or no, the airport to go to Jamaica to go on a mission trip and I was still drunk from the party I went to the night before, but I was ready to serve the Lord amen yeah so. I mean we didn't really have a lot of exposure, I guess, to like gay people yeah, you have no one in your family nobody in the family.
Speaker 4No, nobody in the family because everybody grew up like Baptist hellfire brimstone yeah, right, southern Baptist, oh, southern Baptist, yeah, and your partner said what's like her side?
Speaker 1is her family open and does she come from the same kind of religious background?
Speaker 4hers is a little bit. I mean, it's almost kind of murky because she's from florida, okay, so she. But like florida before desantis, okay, you know what I mean. And so orlando used to be like really open and they would have like good pride stuff. She was out when she was in Florida and then she moved here and she had to like closet herself back in so but her parents were always religious and so they thought she was always going through like a little phase and then she just kind of like closeted herself a little bit. But it was always experimenting as people say yeah, all dead.
Speaker 4Yeah, she was caught in the bedroom several times and it's like, oh no, we're just having a sleepover. What do you mean? So, hers was a little bit easier, I think, when she was younger, and then it made a difference when she moved here.
Speaker 1Good, that's good.
Speaker 4Yeah, but not the same experience. For myself, it was very much like you stay in your little box and you stay closeted and just go with the status quo and then, once you got like a little bit more freedom, like you go to college, like when I moved to Virginia. That's when I really started like finding myself and accepting myself for who I am you know, so I actually came out when I was 24.
Speaker 4I want to say it was when I was 24 and it was like directly when I moved to Virginia. So I lived in Roanoke for PA school Roanoke, great little city, so cute. But um, I just remember, like right before that I had had a crush on a girl and I was like I'm not gonna write this off, like I need to like confront myself and I realized, like you know what like you like women, and that's okay and this is also a great time because you're not near your family, you're not near your normal community, so let's start dating. So I ended up downloading Tinder and trying to like date there. And if you know Roanoke, you know it's in Southwest Virginia and that is a hard place to date.
Speaker 3Oh, my gosh, a bunch of grenades, a bunch.
Speaker 4I mean, if that is the kindest way to put it, oh my gosh, I there was like a few girls that I would talk to, and then there was one girl that I ended up dating and it just didn't work out. But everybody else looked like they lived in the mountains.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah. So mountain women, it in the mountains. Yes, yeah, yeah, mountain women, it's the teeth. It's the teeth, it's that whole West Virginia, Virginia kind of yeah.
Speaker 4It's like maybe your parents are cousins, I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1Could be yeah.
Speaker 4It was hard, but it was at least like freeing to you know, come out, you know.
Speaker 3Yeah, definitely to you know, come out. You know, yeah, definitely. So I remember when I, when we kind of like came out to each other a little bit, it was, um, we were I was at like this japanese restaurant with my mom and I was asking her if I could go to charlotte pride with my friends, because even though I was in college, I still lived with her and I knew she would like be weirded out if I went to pride. So I was like, hey, I just want to let you know I'm doing this. She was like Megan Lynn, are you gay? And I just laughed in her face and I was like, I mean, yeah, I do kind of like women and she was like does your sister know?
Speaker 3and all I could think about in my head was I know that bitch has to be gay too and. I like called Emily, yes, and I was like, hey, girly, I just like kind of came out to mom in the weird ass way and she was like, yeah, I'm, I also like women I've been dating here in Roanoke and I was like, oh okay, yeah, cool, that's beautiful.
Speaker 3See, it wasn't like anything crazy, yeah it was not anything crazy and so, but it was a. It was a different experience after you like, met Sid and had to really kind of like tell yeah parents. Would you like to talk about your your start of your relationship with Sidney and what that was like coming out to mom and dad?
Speaker 4yeah, so Sid and I met back in 2021, so like mid-y. I want to say um also is my no, this building's going to, it's no, no, no, I, it's in and out.
Speaker 2I feel like my batteries I think mine was dying too, because I was going in and out too.
Meeting, Dating, and Engaged
Speaker 1We could just take them off oh, okay, also, are we going to die? Oh my gosh, this is a wind gust really quick.
Speaker 3I mean, like this has to be a. No, it's supposed to be really bad wind 38 miles per hour.
Speaker 1Oh my god, that's insane. Okay, sorry everyone. Oh, this feels off. Yeah, it does.
Speaker 2I can actually hear you guys. Okay, Sorry, everyone oh this feels off.
Speaker 4Yeah, it does. This feels off. I can actually hear you guys, yeah.
Speaker 2Well, it's blowing wind or it's gusting, yeah gusting.
Speaker 1It's more than a gust. Are they being pushed over? Yeah, oh, I want to see One guy. He just ran and he kind of like stumbled.
Speaker 4This is TikTok gold guys, oh guy he just ran and he kind of like this is tiktok gold guys. Oh, we're missing it. We could be famous. Oh, that's so bad. Look at that stoplight right there it's just she is swinging oh damn if only we had a camera.
Speaker 2We could all be making this up, and they're just great actors wow, that's crazy.
Speaker 3I wonder if you can hear it like in the background well, these windows.
Speaker 2I think they're messed up because like they don't lock. So I think there's like they didn't build these right.
Speaker 3But like I feel a draft like a little bit yeah yeah they're just so loud I wonder if this is gonna it's not gonna mess up the audio, though, right I?
Speaker 4don't know. I feel like I don't think, so I didn't hear it.
Speaker 2They are they I mean that's loud, but I think this mic should and I think you can edit out like back noise too yeah, we have a thing right?
Speaker 3well, look at that, we have a thing so um yeah okay, so sydney 2021.
Speaker 4So we met in 2021 like right at the mid of the pandy and she I had taken like a break from dating before that. I'd like had been seeing a girl like directly before that and then didn't work out. That was fine. Um, I was like you know what I'm going to put myself back out there. It just gave me the confidence. You know, after not dating for a year, I'm like this gives me the confidence I know what I want, like I know that I'm into women. So I made a hinge account, which was my first time making a hinge account.
Speaker 1I haven't been on hinge in forever.
Speaker 4I know, yeah, so me neither. I make a hinge account. I have no idea how it works, so I didn't set my settings correctly. It like didn't offer to do it, so it just said she lived downtown. I'm like that's really cool, I live downtown. So we talked, like we vibed a lot, we set up a FaceTime date and it turns out she lived in downtown Raleigh. But yeah. So my settings were at a hundred miles and she was 97 miles away.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 4But our FaceTime date just went so well and we just connected like so immediately that we had our first date here, we went to Mojitos and then she's like stayed over that night and it was just like that's, that's it, I don't know. It was just like an immediate connection. I always tell her like the one thing that like set me off for being like you are the one is I've never wanted kids like ever never, wanted to.
Speaker 4I still don't want to like host anything within this bod, but, um, she was saying her ideal is to one day like have a lake house and so like her kids can go like play in the water and her parents could, and this is another whole thing. But her parents could have a like second house, like an in-law suite house, kind of thing, so then they could free nanny.
Speaker 4But I remember yeah I remember hearing that and that normally would like scare me off and be like shut it down. We're moving on to the next one and I was like you know what I can like see that I could actually picture it in my mind. So, yeah, so we just long, long distant, dated for I want to say like a year, two months you got that.
Speaker 4We you hauled really quick yeah we you hauled in the fact that we went on our first date. We went on our second date. We immediately started dating and then a week later we said I love you. But then after that, everything was normal.
Speaker 2They are fitting the stereotype to a T.
Speaker 1That's like low-key. Like my roommates, they literally went on one date and I was living with Brie and then Casey essentially moved in that night and they've been together ever since, and that was back in 2018.
Speaker 4Yeah, been together ever since and that was back in 2018. Yeah, so we didn't move in together until, like, we were dating for eight months to a year. I want to say time is a social construct, so who even knows?
Speaker 2go with it. Mag, we'll go but yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4So we ended up moving in together in my townhouse and then that wasn't enough room because I've got a dog and she's got two dogs and we didn't have a yard. So we're like we need to buy a house. And then we got two dogs and we didn't have a yard, so we're like we need to buy a house. And then we found the house we're in now, and so we bought a house and moved in and it's been history ever since. So we got engaged last May and we're getting married this September.
Speaker 2How long had did you date before you got engaged?
Speaker 4Okay, so November 2021,. We got engaged last May, may. So what is that? A year and a half, okay, I think, if I'm not a math girly so I couldn't tell you yeah but that's a year and a half. Yeah, you waited a normal amount of time for that I think that's yeah, yeah, and part of it's like I mean, we could have waited longer, but at the same time, you know, you know, you already bought that house yeah, I've never like had any doubts in my reservations or no reservations?
Speaker 4yeah, there's no. Like weird, you know, get away from me, or oh, you annoy me. I'm so glad that you're like she still works in raleigh and so she'll like commute to work and then she'll stay in raleigh like one night a week just to like save on gas and her sanity yeah and I'm never like thank god, you're staying away yeah, you know it's like, oh, I miss you, like she was gone last night and I'm like I can't wait to get home and see her. She'll be home from work, so it's been.
Speaker 3It's been great he's a great girl. When did you decide that it was real enough for you to tell mom and dad that you were?
Speaker 4yeah, so that was that was definitely in the u-haul phase. So, my, if we back up, like my history of telling my parents about people that I dated, which historically was, sadly, men um, my history with that was I've probably told them about two people I've dated over my lifetime and I've maybe dated four people, you know. So I always waited like at least 90 days because I knew I would get sick of someone enough at 90 days. You know so for her it was two weeks in and I was at my parents' house to like drop Gracie off because I was going to go stay with her in Raleigh. And they're like, oh, who are you seeing? Like what guy are you seeing? Like what's his name? I'm like, oh actually, oh actually, and it just it felt so right. I'm like you know what? I have to do this now because I'm gonna do it in the future.
Speaker 4So I just said, like I'm actually seeing a woman and her name is Sydney. She's amazing, like she's hilarious, she's so loving, she's got ambition, she's just like the best person that I know and we're really getting to know each other. So that's actually who I'm dating. Like I like women and my that I know and we're really getting to know each other. So that's actually who I'm dating, like I like women and my experience, I think, was different than Megan's with with my mom's response and then my dad's also response you didn't mention but, um, they just kind of like teared up a little bit and they're like we love you and if that's like who you see yourself with and thank you for coming to us and like we would love to meet her. So they ended up meeting her like a week or two later at my birthday. So yeah, it was, it was surprising and it was very warm and also coming out to my grandma too. So my dad's mom, who also grew up Baptist and she lives at Salem town now.
Speaker 1Oh really. Oh, that's cute.
Speaker 4Yeah, but she, one of her best friends, is like the super, like liberal former pastor and they like do all of these different workshops. She's like working and learning more and more and it's amazing. But I had her over for dinner and I remember coming you were there, yeah and I remember coming outdoor and like showing her a picture like this is who I'm seeing is sydney, and she just gave me a big hug and I'm pretty sure at this point, like sydney's in the will and all of us have been kicked out oh yeah, no mom is obsessed with sydney mom calls sydney more than she calls me, like straight up, like I never talk all the time like all the time all the time.
Speaker 1Yeah, it is really sweet, I will say no.
Speaker 3the first time you told my mom that you were gay, you said this is my girlfriend Sydney. She said oh great, that's the time that she realized you did not mean girly friend yeah, he took her two times to come out to my mom because the first time did not register.
Speaker 4My mom was like girlfriend. Yeah, it did it, did it just took her a second.
Family Responses, Office Culture, and Friendships
Speaker 3It was really tender. Yeah, she like teared up. It was very, very sweet, yeah, I think yeah, very shocking how mom and dad were. They were cool, cooler with it than I thought they would be when you came out and but I will say, like they're, how have you dealt with like their responses since, with like some of the things that they've told you? If you want to talk about that, you don't have to.
Speaker 4Um, as far as stuff they've told me since then.
Speaker 3I mean the only stuff that I can think of how many like we're going to come to your engagement party and then yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4I think that that was more of a like repression thing for me. Yeah is they were like, oh no, we're not going to come to the engagement party. I'm like, well, they already had a vacation planned, so like I'll just let them have that excuse, I guess. But the only thing I can really think of and hopefully mom and dad will never- listen to it.
Speaker 4I guess I don't think, but um is after, like, I came out to my parents you know, I guess I left, went about my business and my mom like looked at my dad and was like like what are we going to do? Like how are we going to deal with this? What are we going to do? And my dad was like we're just going to love our daughter, you know she's still our daughter.
Speaker 2It's always the dads at least, that are like cool with it.
Speaker 1And it's the moms that are like ah.
Speaker 4Which is crazy, because my dad is the super religious one and my mom is like not.
Speaker 3It makes no sense so that's really all.
Speaker 4They haven't really said anything to me. I know that, oh my gosh, so I'm not a traditional type of person regardless, but Sydney wanted to ask my parents permission for you know, my hand in marriage. And God, I was like, please don't do this and, if you do, don't mention religion, because it's not a winning conversation.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 4And she's like got it. And then what does she do? Opposite? So apparently it was going well and they were like, yeah, you know, like we love how you love our daughter and all of that. And then Sydney just mentions religion and then my dad just goes off the deep end.
Speaker 4And then I get home and the conversation stopped. I'm like, okay, I can tell this was not going. Well, so she's, she came to me. She's like I don't know if that was a yes or a no or what that was, and it's it's because of that.
Speaker 3Okay, I'm going to smoothly transition into this one. So, uh, are you the only gay person at your office? How does that work? That's a great question.
Speaker 2How's it being gay? Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 4How's it being?
Speaker 3gay being a PA.
Speaker 4So there's like two sides to this, right, because you have your office culture and then you have like actually seeing your patients. And with office culture, I was the only gay person there, but I, megan, can tell you I'm a like hardheaded, very like independent, like I will own my shit kind of girly. So once I came out, it's like this is who I am. You take it or leave it, yeah, and if you don't like it, you can fuck right off. So I was the only gay person at the office and nobody gave a shit. Everybody was really happy. They're like oh, we love Sydney.
Speaker 4Like once they met her and everybody was cool. Once they met her and everybody was cool. Now they ended up hiring two lesbian PAs. One of them ended up going back to school. The other one is still there and she's about to go to PA school and I'm like so I'm not the only one now, yeah, yeah. So she's, she's super cool. But with patients it's a little bit different. You know, for most people I would say like 95% of people it's like. You know, I'll tell you I don't like to talk about myself or my life, because that encounter is not about me, I've never talked to my doctor about like his family life.
Speaker 2So like, what are you up to? Yeah Right.
Speaker 4Yeah, but like some people, when you say like, how's your day, what are your plans this week, and they like ask you the same and I'll I'll answer. And then some people will notice like, oh, you're engaged, like you know, is he treating you right? I'm like, well, you know it's actually a she or whatever, but there are some that are just those old farts and you just kind of let it go or you don't respond to it. So there are some people that it's just better to not even talk about yourself too. Yeah, so it's not hard, but we are in the bible belt. Yeah, so there's a church.
Speaker 2I've seen, I have made some shocked faces. Do you have patients that come to you because they're like oh, I feel more comfortable with, like a gay person?
Speaker 4I'm wondering that because over the past like couple months I've had a lot of gay and transgender patients like more, more than most.
Speaker 2I would feel more comfortable with my doctor when I on my insurance.
Speaker 1I can like search for lgbtq plus friendly doctors so I wonder if you come up as that I would.
Speaker 4I think you have to like register it as like you are yeah, you know probably so, but I don't know if it's like a word of mouth thing or what it is but I've had a lot of lesbian lesbian, lesbian lesbian lesbian.
Speaker 4But yeah, I've definitely had a lot more, and I think I mean, I think that's important too, because even in friend groups, you know, a lot of our, our friends, are straight Like a lot of my best friends are straight, and that's great, but at the same time it's hard because you can't have the same kind of understanding or you know conversations.
Speaker 3So I think it's great to have somebody that understands you on that fundamental level you know to go see so do you think that that's like going back to like the friend thing, cause, yeah, like, most of your best friends are straight. Do you think that's something that you feel like you're lacking in Like? Is that something you want for like 2024? To like make more gay friends? Yeah, definitely I cause I feel, like all the people that we know like love you.
Speaker 4like his roommates love you, so it's just a matter of like and I think, like what happened there, because I met like Bree and Casey and a lot of them just at like drag bunches over like 2022. But that was still. I was in that weird phase of it's the pandemic and should I? Be, doing stuff versus not, and it's kind of like as a healthcare hero you know, should I be going?
Speaker 4But you know it's. I had that guilt phase of like should I even be going out right now and like seeing people that aren't in your immediate bubble or work? So I feel like I kind of like closed the door on myself myself, not hanging out with them sooner yeah so I definitely want to try to reach out and make more like lesbian friends gay friends.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, no, and I it's not. Yeah, it's like gay city hall. It's called literally like it's literally gay city hall. It's like the lesbian lounge like we everyone's welcome, big ass couch. We have a gay bar downstairs yeah, in the summer we just like hang out outside and just like shits and giggles, like whatever I love S and G's. Yeah.
Speaker 4Yeah, I would love to take part in that this year 2024.
Speaker 1Make it more gay, make America gay again.
Speaker 2That's a great yeah, we need that to be our merch.
Speaker 1Oh, okay, and me and I will be watching sports at some point.
Speaker 4Okay, well, I don't care about that.
Speaker 1Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 3I do love some sports I do love some sports.
Speaker 2Well, I'll get my boyfriend. I know he's a man, but he's basically a lesbian. He likes dick, but he's basically a lesbian.
Speaker 4Oh my God, no Spencer and I can go on another television.
Speaker 1Casey will do that with you too.
Speaker 4Oh amazing, finally somebody that does Bravo TV.
Speaker 2I hate that and sports, so I'll be smoking pot with Betsy, I think.
Speaker 4Sydney will be with you.
Speaker 3We just have everything. Yeah, you guys are a really collective group. I love it at work. Yeah, it works. What?
Speaker 2other kind of weird groups are there at our get togethers.
Speaker 1Oh, oh at ours. Well, we always have some. We have the more nerdy which I guess has Spencer within it the whole nerdy Pokemon they talk about. They talk about gaming, not video games, but games and stuff.
Speaker 2We play video games. I love video games too. Theirs are just weird.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I've never heard of these things.
Speaker 4Are they like D&D? What are they doing?
Speaker 2oh, it's even weird yeah and like but KT plays.
Speaker 3D&D. Oh, those is it. Those like complex, like card games yes. I hate that shit. That's worse than when someone tries to explain to you like a regular ass card game agreed yeah those are.
Speaker 2I gotta do math, not, you want me to world build.
Speaker 1No, I'm not doing that, especially as I'm drinking. I'm like I am not here for that no, there's no way oh my god, yeah, I can barely.
Speaker 3I mean I will play some the heck out of some cards like regular cards when I'm drinking. Yeah, that sounds absolutely horrible.
Speaker 2I'm so sorry to hear that yeah but wait, I'm gonna sub in is what we're gonna do yeah, we'll do that wait in and I'm gonna go get my nails done correct I don't really get my nails done but, you're gonna go to my girl
Speaker 2we should all go katie, but I, you know I got. I went with greg for the first time time and did a manicure. I didn't get anything on it, but, um, it fucking hurt. I was bleeding and I was like great. And he was like yeah, bitch Like, cause you never get them done.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's going to hurt, but no, you could have fucking warned me to type.
Speaker 3You took the day off.
Speaker 1I was bleeding.
Speaker 3I'm so sorry, my fingers are in so much pain.
Speaker 2How are you bleeding this?
Speaker 3bitch like I mean, she was fucking up your cuticles.
Speaker 1She was messing them up.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 2Did she?
Speaker 1soak them first. They like soak them.
Speaker 2I don't even remember.
Speaker 3Yeah, my girl today. I got my nails done today, and there's like one little cuticle thing that I think she clipped a little bit too much, but other than that, oh, you're not bleeding. Oh, those are fine well, I get my nails done every three weeks, oh yeah, so what a luxury.
Speaker 4I got right I just like you know if you did do your nails you could buy a house yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right in this
Speaker 1economy if you don't got mommy daddy money checks. I don't know like I don't know about that.
Birthday Bash and Pampering Plans
Speaker 3I yeah, no, I just tell myself I'm like I'm so poor I don't spend money on anything extravagant. The one thing I'm gonna do for myself is get my nails done that's because my best friend told me because that was my news resolution for 2023 was to be like more girly. I know that sounds so silly, but my best friend she gets her nails done all the time and she told me she was like, yeah, the best thing about having your nails done is it.
Speaker 2Even when you're wearing like a sweatshirt and leggings, you still feel like super like you look put together yeah, cause you could be wearing like fucking the worst clothes ever. Yeah, and people be like oh.
Speaker 1And people be like oh, that's a style, oh, my gosh, yeah, it's super hygienic and I'm really funny about nails and feet and like hands and like teeth, especially oh gosh, but it's just like very hygienic and like yeah, again it makes you put very like together.
Speaker 3I love it. It makes me feel better about myself because I stopped dyeing my hair in that, because that used to be my thing. That like made me feel better and now I'm more like and now it's my natural color. Because that was so freaking expensive and I was spending like 300 every few months for blonde hair when I was in college and didn't have money, something like that. It was just stupid. And so this is what is, you know, 65 every three weeks so yeah, but you gotta treat yourself.
Speaker 1You do, you just have to treat yourself. I got a clutch sometimes and I got an anchor with colt, like every other day where's anchor coffee? What yeah?
Speaker 3I haven't been, I've never been either.
Speaker 4I'm actually like confused where it's at and I don't believe it exists yeah, but I know it's there next, next to Dram and Drought.
Speaker 2It's a tucked away. I'll never go to Remedy.
Speaker 3That's like my coffee shop, but you don't go there for coffee.
Speaker 4You get alcohol there.
Speaker 3No, I go there for coffee, I mean yes, por que no los dos, but no, I get coffee there like pretty regularly, pretty regularly. Okay, all right.
Speaker 2Okay, weekends before I get some wine. Um and no, but I used to be a big camino whore. Oh, I was there all the time.
Speaker 1I just think it's overrated and like I just go to the brookstown one all the time that's where I used to go to.
Speaker 3It was great before they renovated both of them, fourth street, yeah but then they renovated both of them, and now they're not as cozy as they used to be, they're not cozy they do have like a little pastry though, and I love their bread.
Speaker 4I do go and get their bread, their bread and their quiche. The CD is nonsense.
Speaker 1Bobby Boy is great too, because their cold brews are their ice cubes are actual like cold brew, oh really.
Speaker 4And then they make an ice cube out of it.
Speaker 3Oh, that's nice, so it never gets watered down.
Speaker 1Yeah, but the line there's oh it's ridiculous.
Speaker 4I just want to say something controversial. I think bobby boy bake shop is overrated. As far as their pastries go, yeah, I think that they're a little bit too outlandish and it's not I just want like a basic panna chocolate. You know, I just want a chocolate croissant yeah and there's just has like the nice. I mean it looks like glass on the top of it and it's just extra.
Speaker 1I've never really had, I just get the coffee I like kavista attached.
Speaker 3Yeah, I've had their like sandwiches before yeah, and they're like prosciutto one is really good on their back.
Speaker 1Oh my god, it's so good yeah yeah, yeah, because I do see their pastries. I'm like that looks really nice, but I'm not spending seven or eight dollars on this yeah, strip of chocolate yeah yeah, no, but I. But I will spend like 20 a day on coffee, so oh, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3So, uh, our beautiful host, colt, had a birthday the other day. Would you like to, yeah, go into that crazy?
Speaker 2great birthday. It's my 31st birthday, so I did it big last year for my 30th and I was like you know, I love being an attention whore and just getting shit faced for one night with like it's like the marvel universe, like every movie crossover comes in, like you know it's so true.
Speaker 1Yeah, like that is real.
Speaker 2Every crossover raleigh comes and like everybody comes and it's just like amazing, everybody comes. I didn't think about the double entendre but it's true, everybody does um, and that was really the goal of my birthday, yeah it's for everyone to come, I mean boys I, when we were, when we were there.
Speaker 3Uh, so you did it at a bar in winston right like the bamboo, a tiki bar little bamboo tiki bar, which was so fun. But I remember at one point just looking around and I was like, oh, this whole bar is basically here for cold, like everybody, it was just the most random assortment of people you introduced me to some like, like, respectfully like older woman. I was like who like she?
Speaker 1was I'm obsessed with her. She came up and told, told me she was like yeah, so tomorrow I'm divorcing my husband I said yes, bitch yes yes like came up and just said it oh my god, good for her to meet you was, I love that vibe, I love her oh my gosh yeah, so did she, I hope she did, huh yeah did she yeah, she went, and she went skydiving the next day she had a big day she had a huge day I was.
Speaker 3We're now friends on linkedin.
Speaker 1Oh my god, I'm gonna be like can I come work for you because? I want to work for a badass queen yeah, oh my god, I would learn so much in my career if she hates botox, let me know.
Speaker 4I want to meet her.
Speaker 2Yeah, she's pretty, she's pretty she's beautiful, she's marketing manager back in the day, for who champion like in the 90s?
Speaker 1oh okay, she probably knows my dad and okay her.
Speaker 2I guess future ex-husband worked at haines too anyway, oh really it was so fun it was so fun we had a pre-game here beforehand and it was only the most important people that were invited to the pre-game.
Speaker 3That makes sense yeah, vip, uh, and then yeah, people VIP, yeah, vip.
Speaker 2And then, yeah, people got wristbands. So it's a big secret, yeah.
Speaker 1And what the wristbands do is you can go up to the bar and just get whatever the hell you want. Yeah.
Speaker 3So I did.
Speaker 1Yeah, and I couldn't even tell you how many drinks I had, how many first off Jell-O shots we had, before we even went out.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, Didn't you make like 300 jello shots? I think it was like 200.
Speaker 1It looked like 300. It looked like 300. It was a lot. I don't really count them, and they were not weak.
Speaker 3They weren't. They were thick.
Speaker 1And then Greg was running around saying all right, if you have to go to the bathroom, did it. I'm pretty sure we had some at the bar, oh, oh because everyone had to walk you.
Speaker 2Yeah, when you left you had everyone had to take one to go, yeah so we're doing jello shots at the bar um, but anyway.
Speaker 1So then, um how much was your tab?
Speaker 3I do want to know?
Speaker 2yeah, because I was like capping at a thousand, like including the tip and stuff.
Speaker 1Yeah and then um sean came up to, I was like capping at a thousand, like including the tip and stuff.
Speaker 2And then Sean came up to me and was like we're there and I was like 200 more and then he was like he didn't ask again. I think I was blasted.
Speaker 1You're just going to keep doing it.
Speaker 2No, I'm not Like we're going to stop.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, because I remember I went up to the bar and Sean was like we're about to close down. What do you want? Your tab, what do you want? I was like, okay, yeah, cool. I ordered three more drinks. I think it's so funny because me and Zach are only going to get four drinks. It's going to be two and two. It's just going to be two and two.
Speaker 4Did I do that? Absolutely not.
Speaker 3I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2It was also fun. We got like eight. Uh. One of our friends wrote um different sayings on the like wristbands, mine was like, if found, please call, and had spencer's number, my boyfriend, what was yours?
Speaker 1I don't remember, it was just given to me because someone was like that's you, oh my god it was something about. There's something about like relationship, something like with like dating or something.
Speaker 2It was like something really funny some people got some really embarrassing ones yeah, it was.
Speaker 1It was great really cute. I thought I took a picture of mine and I guess I didn't damn and then I remember when we were doing the the cake and um spencer was holding it, your boyfriend and you blew it out and like sparks flew into his face, which was really fun. So, like witness, yeah, yeah, true love, true love. It was really great.
Speaker 2I didn't realize. I gave my phone to my sister, was like, can you take it? Like capture this. Meanwhile, like you know, 15 people are also capturing and I was like, oh, I really didn't mean to do this, but I got a bunch of angles. Yeah, yeah, capturing it I was like oh, I really didn't mean to do this, but I got a bunch of angles.
Speaker 3So, yeah, yeah, it was fun. I just remember being in the bathroom and my sister was calling me and my roommate was. She answered the phone for me because I was peeing and soren was like, yeah, you should come. And then I got on the phone with emily and I was like, oh my god, yeah, you should totally come.
Speaker 4You know, connor, emily shows up like 10 minutes later she had just went to a party and I I don't even think we talked- we talked for a second because, yeah, I was at a party and I was already kind of like litty, titty, yeah, and so I get there and I was like you know what I am done drinking, this is it. So I won't drink while I'm here.
Speaker 2That was beginning for us Like commendable.
Speaker 1Yeah, that was a big old step and we had a full on conversation Apparently we had two full on conversations.
Speaker 4And then Colton and I didn't we just met?
Speaker 2briefly, that makes me feel better.
Speaker 4And then Megan, we talked briefly and then I talked to some girl beside the bathroom who I thought was somebody else and I was like, oh, my gosh, yeah, how's boyfriend. And like she's full-on married. It was like somebody totally different. I just got her confused. So, yeah, that was, that was my mistake. You can't even blame it on being drunk. You're just an idiot oh yeah, no, you're not, you're not. Hannah got it.
Speaker 3Oh my gosh yeah, yeah, but it was fun.
Speaker 4And then me and soren and sarah all came back to my house and watched mama mia and ate pizza and garlic knots.
Speaker 1It was amazing yeah, they had like a normal people night oh yeah, no, because then we left, we went to single brothers until they closed, I think, yeah, we were there till they closed.
Speaker 2Yeah, so that's okay and then we went to reboot and they were closed and I knocked on the door and I had to be like, yeah, I know, this person don't know that person.
Speaker 3And then that's when everybody was like talking to me about my boyfriend and how much they loved him and how they were like but he's kind of a republican and I had to be like, but no, he just it's just rage bait, I swear it's rage that he believes, but it's fine I'm like no, it's rage bait.
Birthday Celebration Fun and Shenanigans
Speaker 3But he, everybody was like oh my god, he's so nice. And then one of our friends like sat me down and was like you know, you? Just you deserve somebody who like believes the same things as you. And I'm like okay, we're not having this conversation right now like please, yeah, I'm not gonna kiss you um yeah, I was like this is not. And then we tried so hard to go to ryan gosling and his boyfriend's house after we kept trying to get Ubers and couldn't get one.
Speaker 2You couldn't get Ubers.
Speaker 1There was also no alcohol there either.
Speaker 2So that's why we ended up just leaving and coming back here.
Speaker 3Yeah, because everybody ended up here.
Speaker 2We were like fuck it. We're walking to my place which, luckily, is just like two blocks, two blocks.
Speaker 3And then we were here until 6am, I believe.
Speaker 1I think I, and then we were here until 6 am, I believe. Yeah, I think we heard. I think I was here till five, but then we forgot. We thought we parked over next door, but no, we parked all the way over um by the convention center.
Speaker 3So we at 5 am were walking, the four of us uh, brie wade um, greg and I to the car oh my god it was great, it was freezing I just remember looking up and everybody had left and I was like, oh no, oh no, me and zach need to leave. And then I like tried to ask some of our friends like, oh, can you guys take us home? Because one of them like had stopped drinking like three hours prior and was like, oh, we could probably squeeze you in our car. And then there was like another person at the party and they were like we can take you home and I was like oh, oh no I don't know what to do I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3And then we finally ended up getting an uber, but I was just like this is just. It's the worst when you look up and realize everybody else has already left and you've overstayed your welcome. Oh, you didn't ever say you're welcome are you sure?
Speaker 2because I you were like, went to bed, oh, I felt so bad.
Speaker 1I think he just didn't feel, well, I don't know.
Speaker 2I think he was just like. All right, it's my bedtime.
Speaker 4I'm going to bed.
Speaker 1Which was fine and I think he was tired because he took Peggy, the dog out and then brought her back and I think he was just over it, yeah that's fair, Because when we were leaving he was taking Peggy out.
Speaker 3I love that our birthdays are so close together, because I hate being the center of attention for a birthday so it's like we're all celebrating you, but I still get to see people that I know and it's close to my birthday so I can like.
Speaker 2It was kind of all of our birthdays. Yeah yeah, it was great, it was so fun and we didn't go to jail, which, like, thinking back on the events of that night. I'm like that's pretty solid, like we yeah, no one got a shout out to. I didn't throw a cake at some random guy that happened last year.
Speaker 1Yeah, you threw cake at someone yeah, because someone was like talking some like someone's talking shit and connor was throwing cake squares at him yeah, like talking shit to our friends and I forget who we only found this out recently I didn't believe the story. And then one of your friends was like no, connor. You literally took a Dewey's cake square and said don't you fucking talk to my friends like that? And threw it into this man's car.
Speaker 4Good for you.
Speaker 1Cause he was talking shit about, I think, a woman well, one of the women with us and I was and then talking about probably some gay shit and me being me thinking I, I can fight anyone when I'm drunk Because you like sports? Yeah, I do. I'll be like I'm like, yeah, I'm like an MMA fighter. I don't care how big you are or how, whatever. But, yeah, apparently I threw a cake square over the vintage welling.
Speaker 2We figured that out like on my birthday this year. It took us a year for that. I don't know who. It was the guy. Um, he's so sweet because he has a twin brother, steven. Steven, oh, steven was here to find out the story.
Speaker 1Yeah, but I don't know why. I threw it exactly like what yeah, I didn't really get the.
Speaker 2I don't think we some people remember that. No one remembers. We still have missing cameras. We have disposable cameras from this year we're still missing two of them because no one can remember I don't.
Speaker 3I remember them being a bamboo, and then I don't remember anything about them.
Speaker 2Yeah, so that's super fun.
Speaker 1They'll forever be lost, yeah someone's gonna get that like, like, um, like done or whatever, since I don't print it and they're gonna be like what the hell?
Speaker 2I really hope there's nothing incriminating I hope no one took any photos in the bathroom yeah, I just flicked the camera off.
Speaker 1Just every, every photo there's no but I don't. Hopefully there's no yeah there's no way.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, that's awful.
Speaker 2No one's that stupid yeah, I know we're not putting that in there stupid people in this group.
Speaker 1Oh, yeah, yeah, that is true, that is true anyway, so it's super fun.
Speaker 2It was great. Happy birthday. I appreciate you guys coming and I did like shutting down the bar basically.
Speaker 1Yeah, that was a fun time.
Speaker 2It was a good bar to choose, because Sofa wouldn't have filled it right. It would have been like 60%, yeah, and so I think just being able to take over and force everyone else out and make it really gay, yeah it was fun everyone else out and make it really gay yeah.
Speaker 2That's the key to getting the people you don't want there is that they walk in and it's like gay city and and they see short shorts and like gyrating. They're probably going to turn around and leave, you know, and I want them to get the message early.
Speaker 1Like you probably shouldn't be here, yeah.
Speaker 2And then everyone's making out. I made out with two tables of people at single brothers.
Speaker 1So it didn't make out. I kissed. Yeah, you kiss everyone. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you kiss me. I remember that. Yeah, we kissed. I think you did kiss zach.
Speaker 2I just remember zach kissing those other two guys man, it was a spend the bottle fest that night he was we were always something we were, yeah, we were kissing.
Speaker 3Yeah, bitches were kissing, that's for sure.
Speaker 2But hey, we all are. We should probably all get tested immediately, but I feel like we're all good.
Speaker 3We're fine, we're fine. I don't know all these people Anyway so that's the story of my birthday.
Speaker 2Oh my god, so fun.
Character Development and Weekly Downer
Speaker 3Can't wait for next year. I think it'll be great. I know Well. Emily, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 4Thank, you guys for having me. This has been such a joy. Yeah, this is a pleasure we love having.
Speaker 2You know, we've only had gay guests.
Speaker 3Yeah, oh yeah, we've only had gay people here.
Speaker 2Oh my God, yeah. I never had a straightie. Perfect, I think we need to get.
Speaker 4We've heard enough straight stories.
Speaker 1Yeah, I think it's time to get on the grid.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1I'm over it.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, they, they all need to shut up.
Speaker 2We're just, we're only going to bring them on one episode so we can make fun of them, is that okay?
Speaker 4I think that and my PA friends, but we've definitely mentioned this about how we need to bully just a little bit more in this country Make America bully again. You should bring somebody on just to bully them just a little bit.
Speaker 2I do think about that a lot sometimes with the younger kids. Get that tail off, get that fucking tail off.
Speaker 3Oh my god, are the bunny ears Actually. You know why are you walking around with?
Speaker 2a tail. When the kid wore a trench coat in high school, we were all like the fuck. I mean obviously telltale signs, right, but really that's fucking weird.
Speaker 3Yeah. Um but I mean like that yeah, I think the tails, and also, if you are going to allow, this is a hater take that I'm about to say out loud while being recorded.
Speaker 3But if you as a parent are gonna let your kid dye their hair in middle school or high school, take them to a professional. I'm so sick of manic panic colors like neon pink, neon green with your black roots just slick greasy. You can be gay with and go through that experience without having the worst hair color imaginable. Just get it professionally done. That is one thing where we really let our kids down.
Speaker 1It's all about expressing who you are.
Speaker 3Express who you are Absolutely, live your truth. Your fashion is all objective. I want you to express yourself, but please, for the love of god, or at least like invest in some dry shampoo like just a little don't look so wrecked
Speaker 4I mean just please like they have like colored dry shampoo now. So you have no excuse. It's not all white baking, right exactly.
Speaker 3Yeah, you can. I mean, you can figure that stuff out fast, and I just think that you, as a parent of a gay kid, have a responsibility to be like you. The one thing you're never going to be bullied about is the fact that you look so cunt right now like that's the thing, is you? Have the responsibility as a parent to be like yeah, they might make fun of you because you like dudes, but, man, you're going to look real good while you do it we're going to start a new non-profit like a whole movement, and it's called like look good, is this our start.
Speaker 2A new nonprofit like a whole movement, and it's called like Look Good, is this our business idea that I was trying to propose earlier.
Speaker 4It's like opposite of Melania Trump Be Best, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And we're just going to like, we're going to give kids makeovers, or maybe better yet we're just going to go on TikTok and critique them. We'll just do that.
Speaker 3We're going to be their first bully. Yeah, we're going to be their first yeah well it better to come from us than someone else. Hello, sharks, I'm coming here today.
Speaker 2I'm asking for $100,000 to bully kids on TikTok what do we think? Just to read them.
Speaker 3Who's saying Just, yeah, just be like that and that.
Speaker 2Yeah, like better to get bullied from us than bullied from straight people.
Speaker 1Right, that's right Sure.
Speaker 2That's what I was told.
Speaker 1Keep it in the community. Are we bullying on this podcast?
Speaker 3No, I mean only character development.
Speaker 1Character development. Yes, that's a great word, character development.
Speaker 3Never traumatizing bullying, no Only character development, character development yes, that's a good word, character development. Never traumatizing bullying, no Only character development.
Speaker 4If we say bully, we mean it in a hyperbolic stance.
Speaker 1We don't mean it. Yeah, like this is pure. Nobody's getting twirlies. No, no, no, no one's getting told mean things.
Speaker 2Yeah, no one's getting told mean things.
Speaker 4They're hair more than once a week.
Speaker 1Yeah, and learn how to smell.
Speaker 4Yeah, and they're going to have to face life at some point you know, and things are going to be much worse.
Speaker 1People are not going to be nice. It only kind of gets worse. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4Exactly, they're going to be adults one day. It's better.
Speaker 3Just kidding, it does get better, it does get somewhat better, everything's great.
Speaker 2We're all like how do we spend this?
Speaker 1I don't really know how you spend that actually, but here we are, here we are.
Speaker 3Huge slay from another, huge slay from best and balanced, if I do say so myself. So happy to have you here, emily.
Speaker 2Thank you guys, any last thoughts? You want to share with the audience.
Speaker 3Do you have any critiques for us? All three people.
Speaker 2Thank you guys, any last thoughts you want to share with the audience.
Speaker 3Do you have any critiques for us?
Speaker 4Any light bullying All three people, any? Yeah, well, now that you mention it, I did make a note on my phone.
Speaker 1Oh, she has a speech. Read us, bitch, read us.
Speaker 2Actually that'd be super like. That would make a lot of sense if she just read the shit out of us, right?
Speaker 1now She'd be. Now that we're talking about, you need to wash your face.
Speaker 4You have blackheads yeah, so we're gonna talk about your botox later, connor.
Speaker 1Yeah, I actually need it in my armpit more than anywhere okay, I want that too okay, I can do that too, absolutely.
Speaker 4Um no, this has been great. All off the record too, or like on the record, whatever. What would be really fun is if you guys had like a segment piece as well like a what's your buzzkill kind of thing or something like that. So everybody that is your guest. It's like you always ask the same like like what's a buzzkill for?
Speaker 3you or like something. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah, okay, oh my God.
Speaker 2Hey, what's your you should.
Speaker 1How about you? What's your? You have a worse stutter than me today.
Speaker 2I realized Meg was better at it and I was like stop. You've got to have a good intro into it. Yeah.
Speaker 3You've got to have a good intro, connor, I think you should ask it because I haven't shut the fuck up and you also know me pretty well.
Speaker 4I have so many buzzkills in my life, oh my god. So what are we talking about?
Speaker 3buzzkill wise. What are you, what are, what are, what are the parameters?
Speaker 4parameters. Um, I guess, just like people you know, it depends I guess what you guys talk about, or just like in general, like what their buzzkill is like yeah like if I had to throw out a buzzkill, it'd be I fucking hate shitty drivers and slow drivers, something like that you know, or just like hateful people Like you. Could make it more topical if you wanted to you know, like get rid of the Supreme court kind of thing, or you know yeah.
Speaker 3Okay, all right Okay as it goes.
Speaker 2We could have buzzkill of the week.
Speaker 4That'd be interesting. A buzzkill of the week would be fun let's do buzzkill of the week. Just marinate on it give people a chance to think about it. I just thought about that right now so I have nothing good for you.
Willy Wonka Meth Lab Disaster
Speaker 2Come prepared with a buzzkill next week we will have a great buzzkill. Each of us or not, we're probably gonna forget about it and do the same thing.
Speaker 3I'm gonna write this down somewhere and remember it.
Speaker 4I have nothing to plug.
Speaker 2Don't follow me on Instagram don't look for me don't try to find me but if you need a good doctor, yeah, if you need a good doctor yeah, if you need to get yeah, come to, yeah.
Speaker 4Look me up, I'm gonna get myself to be lgbtq.
Speaker 1Yes certified baby it's really great, because I always look it up, yeah, just just to see.
Speaker 2Yeah I did for like therapists or psychiatrists, I didn't know they did it for like that. That makes sense. Doctors, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, pas, and like you're like internal medicine kind of people, yeah, it's really cool. Oh look, look into it for sure.
Speaker 2Can you imagine Greg walking in being your doctor?
Speaker 1Yeah, I would die, hey queen.
Speaker 2So I need you to like turn and cough yeah.
Speaker 4Girl like turn and cough yeah girl what is this on your like face?
Speaker 2like what's going on? That cholesterol is not slaying right now. Yeah, what are you wearing and like?
Speaker 1like what the fuck is this?
Speaker 2oh my god, the reason you feel like shit is because you look like shit yeah he is like ultimate bully, but also it was like most amazing.
Speaker 1He's the most loyal friend you could ask for.
Speaker 2But like if you're not his friend.
Speaker 1God help you Good luck. That's why I'm glad he's on like we're best friends.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Well, we are kind of in the cool group of gays.
Speaker 4Okay we're not putting that in there.
Speaker 2We're cool and I just want everyone to know it. We're not lame like some of those gays.
Speaker 1You're right, you're not wrong.
Speaker 4It's like a whole like yeah, I know what we're talking about.
Speaker 2I have a whiteboard at home we were looking into teleprompters, yeah, oh, I like it.
Speaker 3Um this week. I'm buzzing about the um the willy wonka experience in glasgow. What the fuck is that oh my gosh, can I tell you about it? So apparently, so apparently. In Glasgow some dude put on this thing with the invitations or the advert for it. It was all these AI-generated photos about how it was going to be a whole fully submersive Willy Wonka experience. You would be going through the chocolate factory, so all these AI photos looked amazing. So then people got there that day.
Speaker 2It literally people described it as looking like a meth lab it was the funniest thing.
Speaker 3And then they AI generated the script for Willy Wonka, and so he had. Apparently there was a bad guy, and the bad guy's name was the unknown. It's just this man in a cloak and a wig.
Speaker 2That's who that was in the photo. I was like what have?
Speaker 1you seen the video.
Speaker 3He comes out from the mirror and all these kids just start screaming.
Speaker 4Is this just a TikTok?
Speaker 1And the police were called.
Speaker 3The police were called the police were hysterically crying.
Speaker 1This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3Emily, hold on, I'm going to show you. This is horrifying. It's like the Oompa Loompa in the meth lab for me. That photo is so funny. That photo will forever be in history.
Speaker 2I just realized that this is that photo that he was just talking about.
Speaker 3And then let me show you the video of the unknown. So have you seen this? Oh my God, you know what this is. Yes, oh my God.
Speaker 2I didn't think that was an Oompa Loompa. I was like what character is that?
Speaker 3This is part of it, except for this is I can't even get this shit out. This is Jason Derulo falling down the med steps jason derulo. Jason derulo from the met gala where it's like um this just in. Jason Derulo fell down the steps. Someone added it into the Willy Wonka experience. It was like breaking.
Speaker 4Jason Derulo is falling down the steps of the Willy Wonka experience Did this just run for one day, and then the cops came.
Speaker 1It was $40 to get it in Even on the advertisement. If you could actually just read simple English, you'd know that all the words were misspelled. Yeah.
Speaker 3It was all gibberish, it was just gibberish words.
Speaker 2Maybe they thought like oh, it's themed.
Speaker 1And Oompa Loompa wrote this yes, true, it's like the Chick-fil-A whatever signs that are all misspelled, but anyway. So, yeah, it was like $40 to get in per person. And then there was like a bouncy house. I saw in there too, yeah, and that was literally about it.
Speaker 2I saw like a 10 by 10 backdrop.
Speaker 1Oh, and then it was printed.
Speaker 2And it was like is this supposed to seem Like? What's it supposed to do?
Speaker 3This is the video of the unknown. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I'm so sorry guys, it's amazing. This. I'm so sorry, guys, this is just yeah, so that's the bad guy, I don't anyways. So that's my buzz of the week. Emily, what's your buzz? You have to answer after that, so can you ask somebody else?
Speaker 4I just saw the unknown. I thought we had buzz kill. What the fuck's a buzz? Oh?
Speaker 3yeah, no so I so find a follow up. Can you ask somebody else?
Speaker 1what they're buzzing about. I just saw the unknown. This is all going to be ours.
Speaker 2I thought we had buzz kill. What the fuck's a buzz? Well, I know, but now we're doing buzz no.
Speaker 4So I said to her I'm like it'd be cool if you guys actually had like what are people buzzing about? And then what's their buzz kill?
Speaker 2People are buzzing about that.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1Like literally, that is going to go. We're not even into March yet and that has already happened.
Speaker 4Yeah, 2024 has started off with a bank or a meth lab, but like literally yeah, I mean they go hand in hand, they really do. Yeah, they do, I mean Willy.
Speaker 3Wonka meth lab was. Yeah, yeah, next I know, do you have a buzz Anything?
Speaker 2you're buzzing about. You know what I have been watching, do you guys? Or who's on tiktok?
Speaker 3me. Yeah, I am all the time, every day terry joe.
Speaker 2Um, I have been watching like joe, I mean youtube videos that are like an hour long of terry joe interacting with people oh my god, do you know, terry? Joe is like of her life. God, yes, and she and like talking to doge cat and just random people. Nikki minaj commenting like it's hilarious and I love just the out of pocketness of her do you know, terry?
Speaker 4Jo, I have no idea oh my god. I had to get rid of my TikTok because I would watch it 8 hours a day.
Speaker 3Terry Jo you've never seen Terry Jo, oh my god. Well, she slays.
Speaker 2You will be calling out of work tomorrow. It's going to be so into the lawyer, yeah, but I love Terry Joe.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And that's what I've been into lately is just out of pocket jokes that only a gay black man can make, I think yeah that makes sense, yeah, I respect that.
Speaker 3Yeah, I respect that, emily. What have you been buzzing about my buzz?
Speaker 4is actually um TV show and I know we talked about this earlier and Spencer wish you were here, my man, but the traders uh brain case.
Speaker 1You're watching that.
Reality TV Drama and Political Buzzkills
Speaker 4Yeah, best show 100% the best reality TV show I've ever watched in my entire life. And I'm such a Bravo head and half of those people are from Bravo, so it's nice to see all of them kind of like come together and just like. Phaedra does such an impeccable. She's such a villain. She's such a villain and she's such like an actor you know, she just gives full drama and like theater the entire time.
Speaker 1It is absolutely beautiful. Is Phaedra a housewife? Yeah, she was on Atlanta, she got kicked off because of some really problematic kind of shit she made problematic.
Speaker 2really horrible rumors she made up.
Speaker 4Yeah, she made up some really bad rumors, but she got kicked off and then, you know, as reality TV does, she comes on back.
Speaker 1The only show I watch is either like Southern charm or um below deck and. Kate from below decks on. I love Kate.
Speaker 4She is me and Sydney's favorite.
Speaker 1She's fucking hilarious she comes out of her mouth.
Speaker 4Like she's so good that comes out of her mouth. Like she's so quick, quick, she is quick as hell. Yeah, she's amazing. Yeah, like I I won't do any spoilers for this season, but like last season, she was so funny when she wanted to get kicked off. She's like I'm trying to make everybody think I'm the traitor and nobody believes me and I'm just stuck here, I'm being held hostage. Get me out.
Speaker 1I just remembered spencer signed into peacock, so I'm gonna I'm gonna watch traders I'll watch it yeah I have spencers, but I think he signed me out damn, that's what gets me through the week I'm like, I'm so close to friday, which is traders, he signed an airplane oh
Speaker 1my god remember when I lived at the apartment downtown. Y'all came over and we were watching that one time. And he doesn't have commercials because he has money. And so I'm like, oh, like, I loved watching below deck because I could watch an episode in like 40 minutes I, I did.
Speaker 2I signed in on noah's and I had to that off because, like then, he'd be watching and I was like he has my youtube tv I need priority yeah, you're done.
Speaker 3Bitch, yeah, do you have any buzz kills for the week.
Speaker 4Anything killing your vibe, killing my vibe, I mean like deeply, like a little bit, yeah, but I don't want to bring the vibe down. But yeah, the whole IVF thing in Alabama is like a huge buzz kill and pisses me off to my entire core. Oh yeah, and pisses me off to my entire core, oh yeah. So I just, and the fact that also there's so much waving between, like, what those people believe, like is it conception or is it fermentation, or whatever it's fertilization I've been drinking fermentation, and you know what I mean.
Speaker 3I have a medical degree um sure they all say yes, but yeah, the fact that they can't figure out.
Speaker 4What do you actually believe? And it's because they don't believe any of it and they don't care, they just are there to hurt people and it just it can affect a lot of people's future yeah so that's what has really pissed me off and grinded my gears. We've thought like what are we gonna do at the end of this year if things like the tables turn? We're going to move to Portugal. So if anybody wants to make a gay commune in Portugal, porto is very gay friendly.
Speaker 2I actually mean Spencer. We're planning a trip to Sweden. Because we're like if it goes wrong, we'll just stay. Ship the animals over.
Speaker 3That's smart.
Speaker 4Make an exit strategy.
Speaker 1Meg, what's your advice?
Speaker 3This is a really hard one to follow because I was gonna make a joke. Um, please, make a joke, lighten it up um I was gonna say it's such a buzzkill that we haven't seen kate middleton in like two months and is she getting a bbl or what?
Speaker 2what's the deal with that, because I keep seeing all the tiktoks not ready for that.
Speaker 1I was like what is she about to say? We haven't seen her in two months. Are we sure she's?
Speaker 3alive.
Speaker 4Are we sure.
Speaker 3I mean it takes about two months to recover from a BBL. So that's what the sources are saying. I highly doubt she's getting a B.
Speaker 4That woman is the size of this pole. She has no fat to extract from ridiculous.
Speaker 2Yeah, she does no, but how funny would that be it would be so funny.
Speaker 3Other people are saying that she was the unknown from the willie walker experience. So I mean, is it get your? Back girl, I know the royal family is struggling right now oh my gosh.
Speaker 4So that was my, that was my buzzkill it's just, I don't know well, I hope you get to see her soon. I really do. Oh my god, I miss her uh anyways mine's serious it's wendy williams I'm.
Speaker 3That makes me so sad yeah, oh my gosh, I know she's an icon I haven't watched the doc, but I haven't I've seen clips. It just is so sad, like her future I know, and apparently the clips that I've seen on TikTok of the documentary it's like hard to watch, because she has dementia now, right? Yeah.
Speaker 2Which makes so much more sense as to her behavior.
Speaker 4Yeah, she's got primary progressive aphasia, which like that clip where she just stops talking.
Speaker 1That's aphasia, like you, stop talking. Oh, that was.
Speaker 4Yeah, that's what that was Her eyes are from graves disease which is like that thyroid disease and then, it's frontotemporal uh dementia dementia, which a lot of times is from drinking.
Speaker 2Yeah, really, because that's what bruce willis has right and um, like, what's the prognosis of that?
Speaker 4it's not great there's yeah, I mean, it's just a downhill battle.
Speaker 3Yeah, so there's no really up and up for it, I know and she was like such an icon and like I mean she really worked her way up.
Speaker 4She did yeah so her own words she was an icon.
Speaker 3She is a legend yeah, she's an icon, she's a legend. Yeah, that's why she did the hot topics I love the hot topics.
Speaker 4I love the hot topics, yeah our t's and p's to wendy williams.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, for real t's and p's real hard. Um, connor, what about you? What's your buzzkill for the week?
Speaker 1honestly, it's gonna be probably be this for like a while this year, since we're in an election year, but like it's this whole election, like it's just absolutely heavy, like we know who the two people are probably gonna be like. It's gonna be trump and biden. I fucking gin yeah and so it's just like, what are we doing, Like you know, as like our country.
Speaker 1And so I feel like that. I've just been like you know, now that we're about to start going out to the polls again and like all that, I'm just like geez, here we go.
Speaker 4It's exhausting it absolutely is.
Speaker 1And it's just like the media, too, just stirs it all up. It makes it worse, yes, but it all up. It makes it worse, yes, but um. Yeah, that's just like I don't know this whole like unknown of it yeah at all.
Speaker 3It really is crazy because it's just like it sucks to think about, like how everything has just been going so directly south for like eight years, basically like all through trump's presidency and then all through biden's presidency. It is just like slowly, or actually pretty fast I, I guess, gotten worse. It really is so shitty to think we couldn't come up with anything better other than those two. We already saw the last eight years. Why do we want a repeat of either of them?
Speaker 2It's not our parents' Republican party. It's almost a choice. At this point, I feel like it's a choice. Do I think that we should have somebody else?
Speaker 1yes, yeah it's like he's old.
Speaker 2I don't think he's, you know, the best fit for the job, but it's that.
Speaker 1It's like democracy or dictatorship yeah, like I don't really like, I'm gonna choose biden all the way because, like I, kind of want to keep a democracy like yeah, no, because I kind of want to keep a democracy.
Speaker 2Like yeah, no actually very much want to keep a democracy.
Speaker 4Yeah, I mean, they were at the CPAC this past week. They literally were chanting, they were end of democracy.
Speaker 2Yeah, we didn't like we didn't make it on January 6th, but we're going to finish it this time.
Speaker 4One of their speakers.
Speaker 2Oh yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 4Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the speakers came up and said like you know, we're here to end democracy. We tried to do it on january 6. We weren't successful, so let's be successful this time. And people like cheered it, yeah, so it's like okay, yeah, that's like that I mean he's
Speaker 2already said, he was like, of course I'm gonna be a dictator day one and then I'll be like a president, but first day we gotta knock some shit out and like I got to make some decisions and do stuff and it's like it. It's terrifying, yeah, because now, like I feel like you've seen what you can get away with yeah, it's true yeah damn it's gonna
Speaker 4be a lot well, it's like that south park episode where it's the presidency, her one election and it's do you want a turd sandwich or a douche? And you have to choose between the two yeah it's like, which one's worse? Yeah, which one?
Speaker 2oh my gosh it's a hard question tyrannical turd sandwich yeah, like what oh my gosh fun times. Welcome to America.
Speaker 3We should have started with the buzz kill and gone with the buzz at last.
Speaker 2But thank you so much, emily, emily for being here, thank you, thank you guys for having me. We appreciate it. Joe, it's great to meet you sober.
Speaker 4It's great to meet you sober as well. Oh my God, all right, well, thanks.
Speaker 2We'll see you next week, guys. Yeah, we'll see you next week.
Speaker 1Bye, bye.
